Personal development
50 Harsh facts of life – Part 2
Welcome to part 2 of a 5 part series: 50 Harsh facts of life
In this article:
- Role models
- Values
- Bad behavior
- Assholes and haters
- Selfishness
- Being judged on things you can’t control
- Most people aren’t very smart
- Everyone is fake
- Manipulation
- Most jobs suck
These truths may not be fun or think or talk about, but they’re a fact of life, and the sooner we can acknowledge them, the sooner we can do something to change them.
40. Society promotes terrible role models
In case you haven’t noticed Hollywood, the media, and society, actively promotes terrible role models.
In the mid-2000s it was Paris Hilton, then it was reality TV stars like Kim Kardashian, and now it’s whoever has the biggest ego or the worst attitude such as UFC fighters Conor McGregor and Ronda Rousey (before she got her ass kicked), or just about any gangster rapper or reality TV star.
Why do we worship celebrities? Because the media has brainwashed us to. Every talk show in America presents actors/athletes/celebrities as if they were Gods. Women are trained to scream hysterically and lose their minds on TV at the very sight of a celebrity, and the audience on late shows and sitcoms is trained to laugh and scream on cue like a bunch of brain dead idiots at every single stupid thing a celebrity says.
Young people then start talking and acting like the brain dead idiots they see on TV and YouTube, because they’ve been brainwashed into thinking that talking and acting like an asshole or a drama queen is cool and something to be admired.
My advice: Be smart and consciously choose role models that will make you a better person and the world a better place. People like Elon Musk, Tony Robbins and Oprah, and not a bunch of stupid gangsta rappers or reality TV stars. Don’t just like who the media wants you to like and worship who they want you to worship. Jay Z and Beyonce aren’t your heroes. Neither are Kim Kardashian, Nicki Minaj, or Snoop Dogg.
39. Society promotes terrible values
Values promoted by Hollywood, the media, and the music industry:
- Arrogance
- Being a drama queen
- Celebrity worship
- Cheating
- Drugs
- Fame
- Greed
- Hate
- Lying
- Materialism
- Narcissism
- Power
- Sex
- Vanity
- Violence
According to Hollywood, the media, and the music industry, it’s better to be arrogant than humble, bad than good, stupid than smart, and materialistic and narcissistic, than self-less and spiritual.
Gangsta rappers rap about crime, drugs, guns, murder, prison, “being a player”, “fucking bitches”, and just not “giving a fuck”, as if those were good things to be admired and proud of.
Even words like “Bad”, “Bitch”, “Gangsta”, “Nigga”, “Player”, “Sick” and “Shit” (as in “the Shit”), have all been changed from their original negative meanings to be considered positive and complimentary attributes.
We live in a time where societies values are so fucked up that it’s cooler to criticize and hate upon someone, than it is to compliment and praise them.
Society just does not promote positive values like these anymore:
- Honesty
- Humility
- Integrity
- Intelligence
- Kindness
- Love
- Respect
38. Society rewards bad behavior
Forget the feel good fairy-tales you’re told in self-help books about success.
Here’s the real rules of success no one talks about:
- Aggression
- Arrogance
- Being a bitch or a bully
- Being fake
- A BIG Ego
- Breast/Butt implants
- Cheating
- Clickbait
- Fake news
- False advertising
- Fear mongering
- Insider trading
- Intimidation
- Lying
- Plastic surgery
- Scams
- Sex tapes
- Steroids
- Tax evasion
Real enough for ya?
Let’s be honest: Society is incredibly hypocritical and rewards bad behavior.
The bad guys often win. Crime can pay. Everyone kisses the asses of the bitch and the bully both at school and in the workplace. Psychopaths and sociopaths quickly climb the corporate ladder. People are rewarded for lying and punished for telling the truth. Instead of speaking out against bad behavior or doing something to stop it, most people either turn a blind eye to it, enable it, or support it.
Who gets the hottest women? Is it the “nice guys” or the “bad boys”?
Answer: Bad boys, drug dealers, gangsters, rappers, and rock stars get all the hottest women. I should I say, ‘dey getz da most a$$, bitches, hoes, and pussy’.
Which celebrities are most popular? Is it the “good guys” or the “bad guys”?
Answer: The bad guys. People love bad boys, ‘bad bitches’, gangsters, and villains.
People love BIG ego’s too. They say they don’t but they do. ‘Boring’ enlightened people like Adyashanti and Eckhart Tolle, will never be as popular as egomaniacs like Conor McGregor or gangster rappers like Eminem or Snoop Dogg, that “just don’t give a fuck”, and speak to and treat people like shit.
In fact, the more arrogant, egotistical, negative, outrageous, and stupid a celebrity is, the more people like them, and the more money, power, pussy and fame they get.
If you have any doubt at all that society rewards bad behavior, let me give you another example:
When 13-year-old Danielle Bregoli appeared on the Dr Phil show last year for ‘troubled teens’, after getting into fights at school, running away from home, smoking weed, and stealing her Mum’s credit cards, instead of apologizing for what she had done, she started calling the women in the audience ‘hoes’ and ‘whores’, and threatened them to a fight outside by saying “Catch me outside, how bout dat?”
Instead of being punished however, she was immediately offered a record deal as a rapper with Atlantic records (the record label of Bruno Mars, Coldplay and Ed Sheeran), and has already released her first song called “These Heaux” (these hoes) which has been viewed on YouTube over 42 million times.
In addition to that, she is in talks to star in her own reality TV show, charges up to $40, 000 for meet and greets, has 2 million people following her on Facebook and 12 million following her on Instagram, and will probably be a millionaire by the end of the year. (Again she’s only 14-years-old).
Oh, and Walmart also started printing her catch phrase on T-shirts and selling them.
Tell me: Do you think she regrets her bad behavior?
I doubt it. Why would she?
Society rewards bad behavior.
37. The world is full of assholes and haters
“Don’t tell your problems to people: eighty percent don’t care; and the other twenty percent are glad you have them.” – Lou Holtz
Unfortunately, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, the world is full of assholes, critics and haters. Both the proud assholes who will mock you to your face, and the vast majority of secret haters, who will criticize you behind your back no matter what you do.
Why do you think the Comedy Central Roasts are so popular? I’m not a hater and even I like them. Answer: Because most people love to criticize and hate and to see people mocked and ridiculed. Even your family and so called ‘friends’ probably sometimes criticize you behind your back.
My advice: Do you whatever you want to do in life because you’ll be criticized anyway. Some people will hate you without reason, and just won’t like you no matter what you do, and others just like to criticize and hate everyone. So you might as well succeed and rub it in their faces.
“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Aristotle
36. Everyone is selfish
“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I’m out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” – Marilyn Monroe
Fact: Everyone is selfish. No one cares more about you than themselves, and no one is interested in you as a person except for in what you can do for them.
That’s not to say that people are against you however. Most people are neither for you nor against you. They’re indifferent. They don’t care about you one way or another. They only care about themselves.
Knowing this, the next time you want to influence, persuade, or sell someone, don’t waste your time trying to convince them by appealing to their good nature or by talking about what you want.
Remember: No one cares what you want. They only care what they want. They’re not interested in what they can do for you, they’re interested in what you can do for them.
Instead, if you want to influence and persuade someone, always speak from their perspective and talk about how they can benefit from it personally.
35. People judge you based on things you can’t control
Like it or not, people judge you based on your age, height, looks, sex, skin color, and all kinds of other things you can’t control.
If you’re short (like me), shy, unattractive, or poor, you’ll probably have a harder time in life than people who are: tall, confident, good looking, and rich.
It’s not fair, but it’s just the way people are. Shallow and superficial.
Whilst you obviously can’t do anything about the things you have no control over (age, height, eyes, nose, ears, face, sex, and skin colour), I recommend doing everything you can to look your best by wearing clothes and colors that suit you and look good on you.
Why? When you look good you’ll feel good, and when you feel good you’ll feel more confident, and that’ll make you more attractive to others.
34. Most people are stupid
“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” – Britney Spears
Let’s face it: The average person isn’t very smart.
We live in a world where people believe in a flat earth, no planes hit the buildings on 9/11, the Dinosaurs never existed, and neither did the Beatles.
It’s no wonder people believe these crazy conspiracy theories either. Neither the educational system, the media, or society, encourages anyone to think for themselves. Instead of teaching our children HOW to think, everyone tells them WHAT to think. (Even though most of it is a bunch of crap)
This is a pity, because 99% of everything you see, hear, read, watch and listen to is complete and utter BS. That includes everything on TV, YouTube, books, blogs, magazines, newspapers, vlogs, podcasts and especially the news.
Yet unfortunately, most people simply believe everything everyone tells them. They don’t doubt anything. They don’t question anything. They don’t fact check anything.
If it’s on the news or on TV they believe it.
If it’s in a magazine or newspaper they believe it.
If it’s trending on Facebook, Twitter, or YouTube they believe it.
They simply believe whatever bullshit lies the US fake news media tells them and allow themselves to be brainwashed with propaganda.
Also, instead of being smart and learning from their mistakes (and the mistakes of others), most people keep on making the same mistakes over and over again, and only learn through pain and suffering.
I guarantee that future generations will definitely look back upon us and laugh, shaking their heads and cringing at how stupid we are, just as we do to previous generations.
My advice: If you want to become smarter, start to learn about critical thinking, cognitive biases, and logical fallacies.
Critical thinking will make you smarter, it will make you a better learner and thinker, and it will make it very difficult for other people (especially the fake news media) to brainwash you with lies and propaganda.
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” – George Carlin
33. Everyone is fake
“Everyone sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are.” – Machiavelli
The Japanese say we have 3 faces:
- The face we show the world
- The face we show our friends and family
- The face we show no one
For me it’s the exact same face. I wear my inside on the outside, and someone who meets me for the first time meets the same person my friends and family do.
Unfortunately this is rare. Most people are fake and try to act like someone they’re not in order to ‘fit in’.
Instead of speaking honestly from the heart, they speak and act in a calculated politically correct ‘appropriate’ way. Especially at work and around strangers.
Why is this though? Why do people act fake?
Most of us learn from a young age that we need to put on a mask and try to be someone we’re not in order to fit in.
Children are constantly criticized, judged and teased for being themselves.
In the business and corporate world too, people are constantly being rewarded for being dishonest and fake. People lie on their resumes and at job interviews to get the job. Salespeople lie to customers and clients to close deals. CEO’s and corporations lie about their assets, liabilities, and revenue in order to get investors, and so it goes.
My advice: Take your mask off, let people see the real you, and find out who your true friends are. Be authentic and honest and live your truth. Don’t be fake. Don’t try to be someone that you’re not.
PS: If you find yourself in an environment where you feel you’re forced to wear a mask in order to fit in, it’s probably a sign that you’re in the wrong environment.
“Don’t be fooled by me. Don’t be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I am afraid to take off and none of them is me.” – Charles C. Finn
32. Everyone is trying to manipulate you
If you haven’t read my article: 33 ways people try to manipulate you do so ASAP.
31. Most jobs suck
Let’s be honest: Most jobs suck and if it wasn’t for the money most people wouldn’t do them.
I should know. I’ve worked in recruitment for more than 8 years and have placed hundreds of people into all kinds of different jobs from entry level to general management, and I’ve never met one person who ever said to me: “I love my job!”
70% of Americans admit to hating their jobs and it doesn’t surprise me either.
13 reasons most jobs suck:
1. Your job wasn’t created with you in mind. Nothing about your job is personalized for you. It was never created from your perspective or designed with you in mind.
2. You don’t get to do what you want to do. When you work for someone else your boss decides everything about your job including:
- Your day to day responsibilities
- Where you will work
- Where you will sit
- How much you will get paid
- Your workmates
- Your training
- When/if you will get promoted
- What clients you will work with
- The projects you will be a part of
- And everything else
3. You are your bosses bitch. Who has all the authority and power in a business? Is it the boss or is it the workers? The CEO or the employees? Who wins in any argument or disagreement? You or your boss? Which is the ‘correct’ version of the ‘facts?’ Yours or your bosses? When you work for someone else you’re entering a world where they’ve got all the power and you have none. As an employee you have to do what your boss says and follow orders – or else.
4. You have to put up with your boss’s crap. As an employee you’re subject to all of your bosses bad moods and bad behavior and it is they who often determine whether or not you’re going to have a ‘good day’ or not. Believe me: If your boss is angry, frustrated, stressed, or just having a bad day, you can be sure you’re going to feel it. And if you’re boss doesn’t like you, well, they can make your life VERY difficult…
5. Your boss sucks. It isn’t for no reason that many employees feel nervous around their managers. Lots of bosses are incompetent bullies who don’t lead by example, and won’t hesitate to start yelling and threatening their employees the second they’re not happy.
It’s funny how arrogant and delusional some managers can be too:
“I’m the best boss you’ll ever have!” (Said one of the worst bosses I’ve ever had)
“Other companies won’t treat you as well as we do” (Said a manager of one of the worst companies I’ve ever worked for)
“You’ll find it a lot harder out there than you will here!” (Said a manager of one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had)
6. Your boss has control over your destiny in the company. When you work for someone else you don’t have control over your destiny in the company. Your boss does. As an employee it doesn’t matter how much you might want to get a pay rise or a promotion this year, if your boss refuses, nothing will happen.
7. You can’t get rich. Whoever heard of a billionaire employee? Unless you’re a celebrity, CEO or C-level executive, or some senior level executive that has spent 20+ years climbing the corporate ladder of a fortune 500 company on Silicon Valley or on Wall Street, you cannot, and will not, get rich as an employee. Millionaire employees are less than 0.01% of all employees worldwide. What about the other 99.99%?
Most employers don’t pay their employees well, or even very fairly. They definitely don’t pay them what they would like to get paid. Instead they try to pay them the absolute bare minimum they can get away with, even if it hurts their employees. If an employer can get someone to work for minimum wage they will. If they can get someone to intern for free they will. If they can outsource your job they will. Almost half of American workers (42%) earn less than $15 per hour.
“In the make-believe world you get paid what you are worth. The real world doesn’t work that way. You get paid what you are worth only when the person you are dealing with has no other choice.” – Donald Trump
I love that quote because it’s so true.
8. You waste your potential. When you work for someone else no matter how hard you work, no matter what you achieve, no matter what you do, all of your own personal dreams and goals are still left untouched and undone. That is, unless your goal in life is to climb to the top of the corporate ladder and to make someone else rich.
9. You don’t get to choose your workmates. As an employee you don’t get to choose your workmates. Instead you have to work with whoever your boss wants you to work with. And if you’re working with a bunch of people you don’t like? A bunch of grumps, idiots, or slackers? Too bad. There’s nothing you can do about it except quit.
10. You don’t get to choose your hours. When you work for someone else you have to work to your employers timetable. You can’t just work when you want to work, you have to work when your boss tells you to work. If you feel like taking Monday off, you can’t. If you feel like having a sleep in, you can’t. If you feel like taking a 2-hour lunch break, you can’t.
11. It’s bad for your confidence and self-esteem. One of the worst things about a bad boss or a crappy job is what it does to your confidence and self-esteem. It’s difficult to believe “I can do anything” or “I’m good at what I do”, if you’re constantly being criticized and getting no respect whilst working your ass off in a minimum wage job.
12. There is no loyalty. Forget about loyalty. This isn’t the army or the mafia. Companies want their employees to be loyal to them, but they’re not loyal to their employees. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been at the company, or how much money you’ve made for them, if your employer can find someone else to do your job for less money, or if they can outsource it to a 3rd world country, they probably will.
13. You think about your job when you’re not there. Probably one of the worst things about being an employee is the amount of time you spend thinking about you job when you’re not there.
You think about your job when you wake up in the morning, during your lunch break, when you go home at night, before you go to sleep, on your weekends, and especially on Sunday night. You never get a break from it. It’s always on your mind. Sometimes you even dream about work.
Here’s the truth:
- Most jobs suck
- Most bosses suck
- Meetings suck
- Office politics suck
- The money is too low/taxes are too high
- If it wasn’t for the money most employees would quit
- Most employees would love to tell their bosses to fuck off
A good movie on the suckiness of corporate life is the 1999 comedy Office Space. If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend it.
Recap
Enough of a reality check for you?
Let’s do a quick recap of this week’s harsh facts:
40. Society promotes terrible role models
39. Society promotes terrible values
38. Society rewards bad behavior
37. The world is full of assholes and haters
36. Everyone is selfish
35. People judge you on things you can’t control
34. Most people aren’t very smart
33. Everyone is fake
32. Everyone is trying to manipulate you
31. Most jobs suck
Summary
This series isn’t about being negative or pessimistic, nor is it about seeing the worst in other people or in life itself. Rather, it’s about seeing things as they are and dealing with them as they are, even if the truth is sometimes ugly and unpleasant.
Remember: Knowledge is power. If you know something you can do something.
This is part 2 of a 5 part series: “50 Harsh facts of life”
If you would like to read the other articles in this series here they are:
Or if you would like to read some of my other articles: Life Lessons All Articles
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Footnotes:
Amber Rose and Blac Chyna image credit: Tinseltown / Shutterstock.com Britney Spears image credit: Entertainment Press / Shutterstock.com Donald Trump image credit: Christopher Halloran / Shutterstock.com Hilary Clinton image credit: Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com Kardashian family image credit: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com Paris Hilton image credit: s_bukley / Shutterstock.com The Rock and Kevin Hart image credit: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com Simon Cowell image credit: s_bukley / Shutterstock.com Snoop Dogg image credit: Sterling Munksgard / Shutterstock.com